The Gypsy Fortune Teller in Montreal

I went to Montreal On Saturday, stayed 52 hours and had the most incredible vacation ever. There is too much to write about in one blog so I will start by writing about the most bizarre event that occured.

After spending our first night  at our hotel which looked more like a horror scene from The Shining than the immaculate villa as shown in the online pictures, we awoke and decided to saunter down the street to the gay village. Drag queens,  musicians performing in the street, an old gay man with a boom bax dancing to LMFAO’s “Party Rock” while thrusting his groin back and forth set the scene for an interesting lunch. We settled onto the patio of a sports bar.  After enjoying a chicken salad I used the restroom and upon walking back onto the patio I bumped right into a man holding a deck of Tarot Cards. Now this wasn’t just a typical man, this was what appeared to be a sorcerer, a high priest of an ancient pagan sect. He had long dark flowing curls, a pentagram tattoed onto his chest, black leather chaps and an unopened bottle of beer in one hand. I was intrigued.

  “Can you read my cards” I asked him bluntly. This was the gay village in Montrel after all, where anything goes. He replied that he would read my cards but there was a fee. Of course, not a problem! I took the option of a mini reading for five dollars, actually giving him ten. We settled onto a table in the corner of the patio, my friend Rachel siting across at another table. She looked on in bewilderment as the gypsy began to tell us a tale of his life. He leaned forward and spoke in a hushed tone. “I am a Wiccan, I pray to the eygyptian Gods Isis and Osiris. I used to be a satanic leader in a satanic cult, but I left that, now I just read cards and connect to the divine.” My friend Rachel is backing into the corner at the words “satanic leader” I just want him to shut the fuck up and give me my reading. After chatting for ten minutes over everythng from my astrological sign of gemini to his bi sexuality he passed the cards to me and asked me to shuffle. Not one to dissapoint I closed my eyes and really focused my energy on thse cards shuffling and visualising this being for my highest and best. I pass him back the cards and he begins.

“Ommmm, I invoke the gods Isi and Osiris, Ommm….. rama ramma OMMMM” he has appeared to go into an altered state of consciousness and is extremely loud gathering the attention of patrons and passerby alike. My friend Rachel appears confused and amused at the same time, on the verge of bursting out in gleeeful laughter. I’m still waiting for the reading to begin. “OMMM…let the Gods and Goddesses of the ancient earth be upon us now” he is really frenetic now moving his hands over the cards and motioning with them in the air. He puts the cards on the table finally and cut the deck. He proceeds to tell me that I have just been quarelling with someone. Very accurate. And that I am going to lose a lot of money soon. Dammit. He also asks me again what my sign is even though I have told him three times I am a Gemini. He says nothing of importance or value as far as I am concerned and I give him ten dollars for the reading as I can see he is a nomadic of sorts, wandering the streets lookign for his next beer and well frankly, I’ve been there!

   The minute the reading is finished madness ensues. A restaurant worker informs him he cannot have an unopened beer on the patio. The gypsy responds by yelling and screaming that the man is “profiling him” he gets up and is causing a commotion. I just really need to use the bathroom and excuse myself. Upon returning Rachel tells me I have missed all the action. Well the exciting part anyways. The man had ran into the middle of the street and was giving everyone the middle finger yelling “FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU” The police came and had to de-escalate the situation. I am pissed that I was too busy admiring the funky purple spiral staircase leading to the bathroom.

After paying for lunch and replaying the events in my mind all I can think to myself is how I paid ten dollars for nothing. But then again he did predict I would lose money!


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